How to view coworkers with empathy — Quartz at Work

Quietly judging people is something of a pastime for me, wherever I am. But there’s something different about the way I judge, and see, my therapy waiting-room cohort. I have nothing to forgive them for, but I forgive them—for tapping their feet; for turning their earphones up too loud; for being genuinely happy; for being unapologetically sad. I do not know their lives, but I have true empathy for them—for their broken relationships; for their loneliness; for the harm they’ve endured; for their fears, anxieties, and attempts to feel better, all communicated through that glance we share as they exit the room, and I enter.

Lately I’ve been trying to bring a similar approach to how I see people at work.

How to view coworkers with empathy — Quartz at Work

The affair that saved our marriage

If any couple can be credited with pulling their marriage back from the brink, it’s surely Tal and Samara Araim. After 16 years and with two children together, Tal embarked on an all-consuming affair with one of Samara’s closest friends. It lasted two years, until Samara’s “oh-my-God moment” when suddenly, from nowhere, she knew. They separated immediately and didn’t speak for months. Samara wiped Tal’s number from her phone, changed her name on her email account and all communication was through lawyers. All the divorce papers were signed except one.

Fast-forward four years and here they are on a sofa talking openly, easily, lightly – and laughing a lot. Their journey has been so revelatory that Tal has not only written a book in an effort to share all he has learned, but also turned their former family home in Surbiton, south-west London, into a therapy centre, Compass4Couples. Downstairs is a lecture space that hosts free seminars and workshops. Upstairs, qualified counsellors provide individual therapy.

Tal is a man on a mission – his vision is a kind of “relationship gym”, not for couples in crisis but for those who are ticking along. “We have hospitals where you go when you’ve had a heart attack and gyms where you go to stay healthy,” he says. “With marriage, we only have the hospitals – we look for help when it’s almost too late. If Samara and I had gone somewhere like this at the beginning, the whole thing might never have happened – because, honestly, when I look at our ‘issues’, they weren’t that major.”

The Guardian

The New Sex Therapy: How Kink, BDSM and Infidelity Could Improve Your Marriage

Conservative estimates suggest anywhere from 20 to 60 percent or more of people cheat on their spouses. Internet porn remains — as you probably know, quite possibly firsthand— wildly popular. If a thing exists, there’s someone out there who’s into it sexually, and a site dedicated to it somewhere online. And regardless of what you thought of 50 Shades of Grey, either the terribly written novel or the comically bad film, that whole enterprise launched millions of housewife masturbation sessions and helped expand the conversation around BDSM.

Alternet

Buddhist Psychotherapy

Renowned Psychologists like William James, Carl Jung, and Eric Fromm saw much of value in Buddhist philosophy and its positive impact on mental health. The modern mental health clinicians have found incomparable therapeutic efficacy in Buddhist psychotherapy. Buddhist psychotherapy has become a major complementary therapeutic strategy in mental health. Recent research has highlighted the importance of Buddhist psychotherapy in the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, factitious disorders, addiction disorders, medically unexplained symptoms and various other psychological ailments. Buddhist psychology is increasingly informing psychotherapeutic practice in the western world (Kelly, 2008).

Colombo Telegraph